My Ravings n Ramblings

My earlier venture into blogging was to capture the escapades of my kids. Very soon, I did realise that there was a lot more of stuff that demanded to be "penned down". Not wanting to turn the kids' blog into an "everything under the big blue sky" blog, I decided to start another one - and this is it !! "Anything and everything under the big blue sky" that catches my attention and says "pen me down" will be found here.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Rhyming Couplets

A local newspaper (in England) ran a competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line... but the least romantic second line.

Here are some of the entries they received.

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe "go to hell"

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Oh loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes -
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way

Santa n Banta mania continues .......

These were just too hilarious to can away.


SANTA declares:

.. . . I will never marry in my life&. . .

.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . . .

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA talking on cell.

BANTA: kis se baat kar raho ho.

SANTA: biwi se.....

BANTA: itne... pyar se....?

SANTA: tumhari hai. . .

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

A donkey kicked SANTA & ran away

SANTA ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra & started beating it &

said 'SALA Tracksuit pahan ke dhoka de raha hai'.

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1.Strength:My wife,Jeeto.

2.Weakness:Banta' s wife,Preeto.

3.Oppurtunity: When Banta is on tour.

4.Threat:When I am on tour

============ ========= ========= ========

SANTA: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.

Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml

now it's 1.5 ltr.

============ ========= ========= =====

On Jeeto's bday

SANTA had no money, so he sent a cheque of 100 kisses.

When he returns home Jeeto said: Thanks I got cheque cashed from bank

manager.

============ ========= ========= ========

teacher: make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times

SANTA: lara dutta marries brian lara and she becomes lara lara

============ ========= ========= ======

Teacher: is line ki english banao, usne apna kaam kiya or karta hi

gya.

Santa: He done his work and done dana dan done dana dan....

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

Santa went to mysore palace.

Tourist guide - santaji plz dont sit there, its Tipu sultan's chair

Santa - oye dont worry yaar i'll get up when he comes.!!..

============ ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA wanted to make a STD. call to punjab,

He wanted to save money so what did he do?

Simple, he went to punjab and made a local call.

============ ========= ========= ========= =====

Oye paaji, apni pregnant wife ko itne dard mein hospital

ki jagah pizza hut kyun leja raha hai........

SANTA: Kyun key pizza hut mein"Delivery Free" hai.

============ ========= ========= ========= =

SANTA aapko bus me logo ne kyu mara?

SANTA: Are yaar mere photo bus me niche gir gaya aur mene kaha madam

jara sari upper kijiye photo lena hai.....

============ ========= ========= ========= =========

SANTA enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?

Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saabâ?o

SANTA : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ====

One tourist from U.S.A. asked to SANTA: Any great man born in this

village?

SANTA: no sir, only small Babies!!!

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ==

Teacher: A for?

SANTA: Apple

Teacher: Jor se bolo?

SANTA: Jay mata di.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =========

American says: "US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."

SANTA says: " India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========= ======

When TITANIC was sinking, a man asks SANTAji, how far is LAND?

SANTA: 2kms....

Man jumps into THE sea & asks: which way?

SANTA: DOWNWARDS.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ========

SANTA orders pizza.

Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?

SANTA: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =======

Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.

Santa: Who r u?

Girl: Seeta here.

Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= =========

Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?

Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai

jaise usko vapas karne aya hai.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

Pathan sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.

When a person asked what he was doing?

He replied, Oye! higher studies yaar.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA n BANTA were fighting after exam.

Sir: Y r u fighting?

SANTA: This fool left the answer sheet blank,

Sir: So what?

SANTA: Even i did the same thing, now teacher will think that we both

copied.

============ ========= ========= ========= ========= ===

SANTA: I'm very kanjoos, I went 2 honeymoon alone & saved 1/2 money.

BANTA: You r nothing I saved all my money, my friend was going & I sent

my wife with him.