My Ravings n Ramblings

My earlier venture into blogging was to capture the escapades of my kids. Very soon, I did realise that there was a lot more of stuff that demanded to be "penned down". Not wanting to turn the kids' blog into an "everything under the big blue sky" blog, I decided to start another one - and this is it !! "Anything and everything under the big blue sky" that catches my attention and says "pen me down" will be found here.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Is there a magic cut off period ......

There was this email we received a few months back. Did read it and since it was so good forwarded it to friends as well.

Is there a magic cut off period when...

Offspring become accountable for their own actions?

Is there a wonderful moment when parents can become detached spectators inthe lives of their children and shrug, "It's their life," and feel nothing ?

When I was in my twenties, I stood in a hospital corridor waiting for doctors to put a few stitches in my son's head.

I asked, "When do you stop worrying?" The nurse said,"When they get out of the accident stage."

My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my thirties, I sat on a little chair in a classroom and heard how one of my children talked incessantly, disrupted the class,and was headed for a career making license plates.

As if to read my mind, a teacher said, "Don't worry, they all go through this stage and then you can sit back, relax and enjoy them."

My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

When I was in my forties, I spent a lifetime waiting for the phone to ring, the cars to come home, the front door to open.

A friend said,"They're trying to find themselves. Don't worry, in a few years, you can stop worrying. They'll be adults."

My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

By the time I was 50, I was sick and tired of being vulnerable. I was still worrying over my children, but there was a new wrinkle there was nothing I could do about it.

My mother just smiled faintly and said nothing.

I continued to anguish over their failures, be tormented by their frustrations and absorbed in their disappointments.

My friends said that when my kids got married I could stop worrying and lead my own life.

I wanted to believe that, but I was haunted by my mother's warm smile and her occasional, "You look pale. Are you all right? Call me the minute you get home. Are you depressed about something?"

Can it be that parents are sentenced to a lifetime of worry?

Is concern for one another handed down like a torch to blaze the trail of human frailties and the fears of the unknown? Is concern a curse or is it a virtue that elevates us to the highest form of life?

One of my children became quite irritable recently, saying to me, "Where were you? I've been calling for 3 days, and no one answered. I was worried."

I smiled a warm smile. The torch has been passed.

Then the whole thing slipped from my mind. It often happens with me and my parents too. Sometimes I am scheduled to call them on a particular day and sometimes I forget to. At times, when my call is about 2-3 days overdue, my dad calls up from Bombay and that is when I remember that I have crossed the deadline for the phone call to my parents.

I always used to wonder as to why he rushes to phone me if my call is just about 2 days overdue. It used to be irritating at times.

A few weeks back, Bombay was rocked by a series of bomb blasts on the local trains. I was trying time and again to get thru to my parents but the phones in that area were down due to some cable disruption. There was no way I could contact them.

They normally don't travel in local trains but still I needed reassurance that they were OK.

Finally we called up and asked my uncle-in-law to go over, check with them and confirm to us that they were OK.

That afternoon, my father called up from Bombay (my uncle-in-law had visited them and told them that we were worried) and I cannot express in words the relief that I felt when I realised that they were OK.

That was when the above email came to mind.

It is so very true.

During those two days - personally - the torch had indeed been passed !!


Blogger mommyof2 said...

so true & very touchy..

2:26 AM  

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